There are two big questions people ask immediately after discovering you are pregnant, are you having a boy or a girl and what’s the due date? My answers to both of those questions many people find disappointing. We are choosing not to find out the sex of the baby until they are born and as far as the due date goes….well I’m being a little vague. Why you might ask? Well did you know that typically only 5% of women deliver on their due date? ONLY 5%! That means the other 95% deliver on a date other than that all important due date! For some reason we all get locked into that “DUE” word. If my library book is due on Thursday it’s overdue by Friday. We start to have the same sort of thinking about babies. If they were due on the 20th and it’s the 23rd then they are 3 days past due. As women are approaching their “due date” we check in with them and say “have you had your baby yet?” “Do you think it’s coming today?” “When’s that baby coming out?” It’s good natured and out of care and concern but it can add to moms feeling anxious and impatient. We need to put this whole concept of “due date” into perspective, even change the terminology. Estimated date of delivery is a much better term because and estimation is exactly what it is!
Most due dates are calculated by taking the date of your last menstrual period and adding 280 days or 40 weeks. This means that for the first two weeks of your pregnancy you aren’t even pregnant yet. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant but have only been pregnant for 27 weeks…kind of odd when you think about it. What about women with irregular cycles? Calculating the due date based on your last menstrual period is assuming a 28 day cycle which many women don’t have. In these cases, an ultrasound is often used to determine the estimated date of delivery. Early ultrasound due dates have a margin of error of just over 1 week. The later the ultrasound the less accurate its due date predictions become. Between 18-28 weeks gestation the margin of error increases to plus or minus 2 weeks. After 28 weeks the ultrasound may be off by more than 3 weeks.
Side bar- knowing these statistics it really frustrates me when I hear women say late in their pregnancy…”I had an ultrasound and they moved up my due date so if I don’t go into labor by insert date they are going to induce me”….who is this all knowing “they”? How do “they” know better than your body’s own intelligence? And don’t “they” know the wide margin of error for “their” estimates? To clarify, my frustration is not with the individual but with the system that tells us our bodies aren’t intelligent and with the providers who are not forthcoming about the accuracy of their own tests. If your doctor knows that later ultrasounds have lower accuracy for predicting due date then why would they change a due date based on a third trimester ultrasound? Okay I can get off my soap box now.
I think we can all look at this and agree that regardless of how due dates are calculated we are not robots that hand the baby an eviction notice at 40 weeks and say, “hey it’s time to get the heck out!” Maybe, just maybe we need to recognize there is a little wiggle room on that date.
If the estimations aren’t terribly accurate then we need to know the normal variations. I hear from so many women that they become anxious after they hit the that date and now they are past due. The say things like, “my doctor won’t let me go to 41 weeks” “I’m going to have to be induced” “Why won’t this baby come out already?!” We need to be educating woman about the healthy range for full term babies as it is not just 40 weeks. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists normal term ranges from 38 to 42 weeks gestation. That’s a big window that we narrow down to a single date. We should start giving women a due range or a due month. Many inductions occur because babies are supposedly “past due” when they are still within the healthy range.
As for my own pregnancy I will tell people how far along I am in terms of weeks and they can do the math if they so choose or I will tell them my due month. I am not giving people a specific date because it’s arbitrary, and I don’t want to be attached to that date. As I have entered the 3rd trimester and fat swollen feet have become my norm, I can barely tie my own shoes and rolling over in bed is a chore I can imagine that I may become impatient as the end of my pregnancy approaches. I don’t want to feel added pressure or stress from myself or from those around me as the day approaches. I want to be present with my baby and enjoy each day I get to carry them inside of me. Baby Mason will make their entrance into the world when they are ready…and then my world will never be the same 😊
